Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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