So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
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