The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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