How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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