Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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