god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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