she woke up with a sticky ear
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize