Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize