PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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