But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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