I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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