She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize