I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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