I'm jealous of your bromance
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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