your thong is hanging out like whoa
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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