she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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