I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize