apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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