It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize