Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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