Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
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the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
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On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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