I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
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oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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