I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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