I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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