I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize