i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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