Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize