she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize