I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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