why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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