Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Randomize