Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize