Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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