Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize