Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
When are your genitals available?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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