omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
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he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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