btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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