he wants to bone in the snuggie
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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