I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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