I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize