Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize