OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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