im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize