Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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