She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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