Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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