He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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