Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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