my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
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Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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