I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize